Taking your slave on a leash in public.

Playing in Public: Ethical Exhibitionism

Yes, it is possible to lead your lover down the street on a leash in this magnificent leather Mecca of San Francisco. At least you can do this a few times a year, at our great events like Pride Parade, Folsom Street Fair and the lesser known Dore Alley Fair. But what does an exhibitionistic kinkster do to get his thrills the rest of the time? It's never cool to play with the nonconsenting, and in the exhibitionist's case, this means your audience. The difference between the acts of a responsible member of our leather community and a case of sexual assault is ethics and consent. Responsible kinky play does not nonconsensually disturb or hurt people emotionally or physically, and that includes your onlookers. There are numerous venues all over our fair city that will allow and even encourage such shows, ranging from leatherbars to public clubs to particularly licentious street fairs. There is no need to get out the whips in the basement at Macy's, even if you always did have a Martha Stewart fetish. But what about subtler games, where you enjoy the titillation of being out in public while in your roles, but several hundred onlookers may never know that they've just been props in the grand scheme of your sexual fantasies? Here are a few ideas and suggestions for getting kinky in public while staying safe and ethical. Bondage harnesses, buttplugs, dildos or fetish clothes under your regular everyday wear is always apropos for the really well dressed kinkster. How about adding an element of extra spice to the proceedings and rigging some remote control for those interesting devices? One adventurous couple managed a very amusing setup with a vibrating pager. For the more masochistic, some pet stores sell remote dog training collars which trigger an electric shock up to a quarter mile away when you push the control button. For safety reasons as well as additional titillation, I recommend that these units be worn a good distance below the neck and torso in humans.

A very important safety note on this trick is not to use cheap handcuffs that don't lock securely in place. Long term pressure on the carpal nerve of the wrist can cause serious damage, not to mention the possibility of problems down below if a cheap cuff tightens too far. Wrist padding is highly recommended. For boy bottoms only, you can manage some pretty outrageous bondage in public if you're willing to sacrifice a pair of old jeans. Or maybe all his old jeans are already altered that way, who knows. Inside the jeans, cut out the right hand pocket. Handcuff your bottom's wrist to the base of his cock and balls through the pocket hole. How about some ways to show dominance and submission in public without anyone else catching on? You can always play chauffeur and wealthy employer, especially if you enjoy dressing the roles. Deferentially addressing your companion as "Sir" or "Ma'am" in public is always noticed, but rarely remarked upon. Even more subtly, your submissive partner can be under standing orders not to start eating in a restaurant until you have taken the first bite, and you will of course order for both of you. If you enjoy public humiliation, there is no need to upset other diners by making your partner drink from a bowl on the floor - save that scene for the Eagle, please. Simply instruct your submissive to eat only with his or her fingers. If you are a real fiend, do this in a very upscale restaurant and order your submissive to ask for both ketchup and Kool-Aid at some point in the meal. Your waiter will certainly think that your pet is a culinary barbarian, but is unlikely to suspect that there is anything more titillating going on. This works especially well in a sushi bar. If your imagination is good and you understand the limits of your audience, there are innumerable games you can play in public with your exhibitionistic submissive while remaining ethical and safe. Of course, if you just want to go all out and perform a naked flogging with a matched pair of giant dildoes while your submissive is sucking your toes and being forced to hum "Dixie", it's a much better idea to check out the local SM party circuit. After all, everyone knows that it's in terrible taste to hum "Dixie" in public.